Editorial by MarieBrandt

I don’t subscribe to the belief that this show, even though the first of its kind, bears the responsibility for representing all lesbians, because no show can represent us all, nor can it please all of us all of the time. But Ilene Chaiken has made it clear that it is her desire to tell “our stories,” to show the world that we’re all the same regardless of our sexual orientation. That being said, since this show has been framed as a drama, is it too much to ask that our stories be told with some basis in reality, and that the characters that represent us remain at least consistent from season to season, or dare I say it, from one episode, to the next?

This season’s opener was beyond dissappointing, it was a farce. Lazy writing and a misguided attempt to merge the comedic aspects with the dramatic has made this episode miss the mark, watering down both the characters and the drama of their story lines.

Bette and Tina

One of the major plot points in this episode was Bette’s desire to adopt the baby, a very serious decision, especially considering their rocky relationship, and yet we're supposed to believe these two intelligent women are clueless when it comes to dealing with the social worker, that they won’t show respect to the woman that holds their future in her hands? We are supposed to believe that after the devastating loss of their first child, they have taken no steps to babyproof their home. And yes, Bette may be passionate about art, but as a mother she would be fiercely protective of her child, that I know for sure.

A very dramatic story line was wasted here, reduced to a poorly contrived comedy routine as Alice demolishes the social worker’s car in the driveway, possibly ruining Bette’s chances to adopt the baby. But no one is particularly concerned. Bette may never get to adopt her partner’s child, but, no worries, aren’t we clever, we just thought of ten more words for punani! (One of which, by the way, happens to be “Peepers,” at least according to Dana anyway, which is quite unfortunate for Dana’s beloved deceased cat, Mr. Peepers. It could have been worse I suppose, he could have been named Mr. Wiff Waff.)

Another major plot point, the lack of intimacy between Bette and Tina, shows promise as a very juicy and dramatic story line, full of resentments, wonderful dialogue, and body language from these two terrific actresses, but again, IC robbed it of its drama by trying to turn it into a comedy so she could incorporate one of her “guest stars.” We’re supposed to believe that Tina, so free with her pregnant body, is now suddenly ashamed of a figure, which can only be characterized as spectacular (or as coined here, “assrageous.”) Suddenly, she finds the word “clit” offensive, despite the fact that she’s used the word herself in several past episodes. Never before has Tina been portrayed as prudish. It’s not in her character, at least not the character we saw in Season One and Two.

I the need to explain the lack of sex scenes between Bette and Tina necessitated by Beals’ pregnancy, but this is lazy writing. Far better to have their lack of intimacy linked to their unresolved issues, than to Tina’s sudden pruddishness or aversion to her own body. And are we further to believe that this couple, with proud Bette at the forefront, is even going to a sex therapist in the first place, much less while struggling so financially that they can’t even afford a $39.95 chocolate paint set?

What would you have rather seen on the show, Bette and Tina experimenting with that chocolate paint set, and Tina rebuffing Bette, together with all the ensuing processing and drama, or Kate Clinton in a clown nose? Enough said.

This smacks of Chaiken’s desire to include a guest star in some scene, any scene, rather than telling the characters’ stories. That, in fact, has been my main beef with the show for some time. Chaiken is not telling these characters stories, she’s telling the stories she thinks will be dramatic, and hopefully the characters she’s drawn will fit in, and if not, too bad. It’s as if she’s proceeding by formula, “we will have one car chase, one transexual, one infidelity in this episode” and God help us if that fact pattern doesn’t fit the characters as we know them. Guest stars are inserted willy-nilly, whether or not they fit the story line. Gloria Steinem at Bette’s father’s funeral was a perfect example of this. There are many others.

Season Two Bette and Tina have completely vanished, it’s as if they never existed. It’s Season One again, without the complexity or the nuance. Bette is completely one dimensional, merely bitchy, and without that wonderful AlphaBette swagger that made her almost universally appealing. Tina is a spineless apologist. What happened to their growth? What an injustice to these tremendous actresses.

Alice

Alice, oh poor Alice. Leisha Hailey is doing a marvelous job with this character, playing her with just the right mix. But the writers took it too far, and now I’m not sure if it was supposed to be funny or not. In the end, it was just cringeworthy. What’s disturbing is this once silly but nevertheless stable character has gone completely off her nut, turned into a literal car wreck, and no one seems concerned, except for Helena of all people (who Alice hated last season, but according to IC and crew that's beside the point). Alice’s antics are funny, and I assume are supposed to be, to the viewer anyway, but where IC slips up is trying to make them funny to the participants in the show, which defies belief.

Dana and Lara and “the Lump”

After their wonderful onscreen chemistry in Season One, how many of us longed to see Dana & Lara onscreen again? And we got our wish, well, sort of, except now they’ve been reduced to kissing and cooking, and cooking and kissing. Couldn’t the writers think of anything else for these two to do? Wouldn’t you have rather seen Dana struggling with her decision to leave Alice, the loss of their friendship, and the buildup of tension between Dana and Lara before Dana finally takes the plunge? Nope, nada, but do try the double lemon sugar cookies with lavender and rosemary, they’re the bomb. They go down easier than Dana’s coming out story. Got milk?

And then there’s the lump, you know the one the size of an anvil, that Lara just happens to notice. Wouldn’t it have been more dramatic to have Dana’s health slowly decline, maybe have her collapse on the tennis court, and have no one know why, until she receives a diagnosis? Chalk this up to IC’s formula again, we will have one death per season, doesn’t matter who or how. But unfortunately, as dramatic as that could be in capable hands, her writers aren’t building the tension. Poor writing. Poor Dana.

Jenny

Kudos to Mia for making the most out of this difficult part. Again, I felt like a dramatic opportunity was lost here. IC spent two seasons leading up to Jenny’s self-destruction, then glossed over it. After her cry for help in the Season Two finale, we could have seen her return home and her initial confrontation with her parents. Can you imagine the dialogue between them? We could have heard some of her therapy sessions. What about aversion therapy? What about those religious groups that claim you can be healed? Now, that would have been interesting, but instead all we get to do is squint at Jenny in a dark bar. Her issues with her parents are reduced to a few lines as she leaves. There was so much rich material here. I hope they go back and mine some of it.

Shane and Carmen

I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed these two and their part of the show. Their chemistry was believable, their lines well written. Other than the scenes being a little too heavy on the stereotypical Mexican spice, their scenes nailed it for me. I hope they develop the characters further and we see some of Shane’s struggle to keep her commitment.

Helena

I loved her comedic scenes with Alice and hope that she can be developed into more than the one dimensional character drawn last season. We all knew there had to be more to her than we saw in Season One, otherwise Tina would never have fallen for her. And while her friendship with Alice does seem a bit far-fetched, I’m willing to take it at face value, knowing how incestuous we lesbians can be. So I’ll be at the table at that never ending lesbian potluck, wild rice at the ready. More Rachel Shelley, please.

Kit

Kits got menopause. Okay, that was a good lead in to some of the more comedic elements of the show. But are the viewers supposed to forget that she was barely speaking to her son last season, not to mention that he wasn’t even a doctor yet? Maybe it’s the “writing by committee” that plagues this show with continuity problems, but one would think there would be at least one person paying as much attention as we the viewers are. Speaking of too much attention, that leads me to the music.

I had hoped that after the resounding criticism of the musical choices in prior seasons, that some changes would have been made in that area, but it appears that didn’t happen. The episode opened with a well executed “previously on the L-word” montage, then for reasons unknown, instead of the episode starting, it included another choppy retrospective underscored with the song “Loverboy” when there was nary a “boy” in sight. Can someone please tell me how the imagery of a group of lesbians lovingly holding a newborn baby girl conjured up the tune “Loverboy?” Right out of the box I know ezgirl is back on the job and I’m not happy about it. Similar musical gaffs appear at regular intervals throughout the show, including the cheesy piano recital as Alice peeps in Lara’s window, and the spooky, Oh so scary, circus music as Jenny confronts her mother on the steps. The music was so distracting it pulled this viewer completely out of the scene. This is not artsy; it’s just juvenile.

The overall effect of the show? The production quality remains glossy and gorgeous, and the acting continues to impress, but the lazy and inexperienced writing overshadows them both. I will continue to tune in because I love the actresses, all of them, but my fear is that if the writing doesn’t improve, there will be no season four. There is so much wonderful material out there, I continue to be astounded that the writers fail to utilize it, as one after another Chaiken sets up dramatic stories, then fails to tell them, completely undermining their dramatic effect.

I wonder why we care so much about this show, why it’s important to us that it be a success. Maybe because it promised to tell our stories. Maybe because it is the first and only of its kind. Regardless of why we love it, the world is watching, and we have a once in a lifetime opportunity to tell these stories. They may be universal stories, but they haven’t been told in our words, and I, for one, believe our words matter.

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